"10 Ways to de-stress: Keeping 'thanks' in Thanksgiving" by Beth Rodgers (November Bella Magazine)

Ever have a holiday that you secretly hate? It's not that I am ungrateful for my blessings, but I confess to being a Thanksgiving hater. Maybe it's more accurate to say that Thanksgiving hates me.

As a newlywed, I cried when my mother was called out of town, leaving the Thanksgiving turkey and stuffing, cranberries and pie preparations to me, a task for which I was woefully ill-prepared.

Over the years, even with practice, perfection eluded me. Frozen turkey? Did that. Burned dressing? I've done that. Broken dishes? Been there. Wrong ingredients. Oh, yes. Pies catching on fire? Honey, you name it, and I have done it.

To keep the "thankfulness" from slipping from your day, Bella has compiled these great stress reducing tips from women across Pensacola.

1. "DO WHAT ONLY YOU CAN DO …"

First, follow the rule, "Do what only you can do, and let someone else do what anyone can do."

Nobody will care whether you cleaned your bathroom early Thursday morning or you hired a house cleaner to give your house a once-over the day before. Mark your calendar and schedule with your housecleaner, your yard crew, and the pool company well in advance, though. Then you can focus on other things, assured the house, yard, and pool will be clean when your guests arrive. Just not by you.

2. ORGANIZE EARLY

Make a list of your menu items and their ingredients. Most families follow a traditional menu, but maybe this is the year to drop a few items. Do you really need three varieties of macaroni and cheese? Rather than wondering how to fit all the leftovers in the already-bulging fridge, pare down the menu (and your preparation time).

For those items you do keep on the menu, check your pantry early. Set aside a cardboard box marked "Thanksgiving" for the items you'll need that day. Nothing is worse than watching your child stroll up the stairs nibbling on your last can of pineapple the night before your holiday meal.

Make a grocery run at least two weeks before Thanksgiving — the shelves will be filled with holiday items instead of picked clean by last minute shoppers.

3. CHINA AND SILVER? OR PAPER AND PLASTIC?

Plan out your table service. There are some beautiful decorator paper plates to choose from, but if this is the holiday you feel compelled to use Grandma's china and the good silver, do it. Just don't haul it all out Thanksgiving morning.

Some families make an event of setting their table a day or two ahead with their china, silver, crystal and linen napkins, a task the kids can help with. It's wonderful to remind children that "these were Great-Grandma's dishes," keeping the focus on family.

Younger kids can be tasked with creating the place card holders, and college-aged kids love to walk in the front door to a beautifully set table. Having the table pre-set means more time with your family, and that's what it's all about, right?

What about serving dishes and utensils? Get out your turkey platter and find your serving bowls early. Label each serving bowl with the food item you envision by putting Post-it notes inside each bowl — this helps you avoid the stress of having to make last-minute decisions. If you have already decided the potatoes go in that white bowl, you won't be frantically rummaging around in the buffet when your guests arrive.

4. CREATE A COMMAND CENTER

As the calendar turns to Nov. 1, the tasks that need to be tackled will begin to cross your mind. Stop and jot them down. Then Thanksgiving week, transfer your notes to 3x5 cards and stack them at your "Command Central." These cards should list tasks that others can easily assume, taking the burden off of just one person (read: Mom).

Let's face it — much of the time, we know everything that needs to be done, and we say we want help. But maybe we just want everyone to clear a path or—worse yet--read our mind? If we feel like no one wants to help out, perhaps they just don't want to get in our way.

Charging around like Wonder Woman, we rob our children and teens of the opportunity to learn. Task cards can list things anyone can do (like "walk the dog"). And using cards to communicate with your helpers gives you a break from having to remember "everything" off the top of your head.

So don't be a Command Central Black Hole — share what your expectations are with your family (and maybe strike some of them off your list). Ultimately, the additional stress of the day may come in the form of trying to reach unreasonable or unattainable expectations.

5. GO ORGANIC

Want to go another direction than the traditional china and silver route? Maybe this year, you have decided to keep the day more casual.

Consider going organic in your table presentation. Employ the youngsters to create candle holders out of apples of various colors. Hollow out a pumpkin to create a beautiful soup tureen for a festive fall Squash Soup. Skip the fancy linens and use burlap toppers for your table. Tie your napkins with raffia bows. Use wicker baskets lined with calico for your rolls and breads. The stress of having to have everything "just so" can be cured with a good dose of creativity.

With Florida fall weather permitting, consider having your meal outdoors, Pilgrim-style. Whether you dine indoors or al fresco, send children out to gather twigs and leaves to create your centerpiece. Buy colorful mums from the local nursery for your table. You'll have a beautiful live (and economical) centerpiece you can recycle by planting them in your flowerbeds. If you do decide to order a traditional floral centerpiece from the florist, mark your calendar and order ahead.

6. TRIM YOUR MENU AND COOK AHEAD

When it comes to de-stressing, the house can be cleaned and the table can be set, but somebody has to cook the food.

Double check your menu — what items can be made ahead of time? Mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and rolls top the "make it the day before" list.

If you have your pies done by Wednesday night — maybe you can break down this year and buy one or two — so they can be popped into the oven while you carve the turkey, filling the house with an aroma as wonderful as when they were being freshly baked. Some salads require assembly the day before, perfect timing for reducing stress.

What about sharing the day with friends and doing Thanksgiving potluck style? If everyone brings an assigned side, the host family can provide the turkey, spreading out the costs (financial and time). Make sure everyone goes home happy by dividing up all the leftovers equally, giving each family a little bit of everything.

7. MAKE IT, FAKE IT, OR TAKE IT!

Finally, what about the star of the day? Turkey and ham are the traditional meats for Thanksgiving, but the "Turducken" has become increasingly popular. It's created when a deboned turkey is stuffed with a deboned chicken that has been wrapped with a deboned duck.

These can be ordered on line or obtained locally, but be sure to order in advance.

If your family chooses the traditional turkey, consider changing the way you make your turkey. Many folks deep-fry theirs outdoors, but how about stuffing your bird with MacIntosh apples and roasting the turkey on the grill? If all your side dishes are made the day before, with minimal cleanup from a grilled turkey, your day can be almost kitchen-free. Consider picking up your pre-cooked turkey — or your entire meal — from a local restaurant or grocery store. The Holiday Meal-to-Go is a popular option and often costs under $50.

8. WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS …

You may choose avoid the hassle of cleaning and cooking altogether by dining out on Thanksgiving Day.

In the Pensacola area, there are meals of every variety at every price point, from a lavish buffet offering all the trimmings to a more modest, traditional fare. From time to time, dining out does provide a viable stress-free option for the holiday, but be aware of the down side: Families still need to make reservations, the cost can be as much or more than making your own meal at home, and in the end, there are no Thanksgiving leftovers, something many football fans count on to sustain them throughout the weekend.

9. CAPTURE THE MOMENTS THAT MATTER

When the house is all clean, the table is all set, and everything is warming in the oven, pause to take a photo. You can refer to this (especially your pre-set table) next year and get a leg up on next year's stress by creating a visual reminder of how you did things.

And remember to take a photo of your family and friends as they are gathered around the table, creating memories to treasure for years to come.

10. PLAN SOME TIME FOR YOURSELF

In all the planning for this special very American holiday, the surest path to de-stressing this day is to carve out some time for yourself.

Lay out your outfit a couple of days before. Include a comfortable pair of shoes for the morning and dressy shoes for mealtime. Remember to get your pedicure, your manicure, and your hair done the week before the holiday. You may have time to squeeze in a massage, since you've planned ahead and delegated tasks so well.

Leave one bottle of wine in the fridge for your end-of-the-day treat. Put on some music, soak in a hot bubble bath, and congratulate yourself on a job well done. Aaaah. Now isn't that better?

http://www.pnj.com/story/life/style/bella/2014/11/12/10-ways-to-de-stress-keep-the-thanks--in-thanksgiving/18916153/

BILL'S APPLE STUFFED TURKEY

Thaw turkey. Remove giblets and neck.

Rinse and pat dry, then sprinkle salt inside the cavity.

Stuff into the body cavity and the neck cavity whole tart apples (MacIntosh variety works great).

Rub the outside of the turkey with butter and lightly sprinkle with Poultry Seasoning or salt/pepper.

Preheat the grill to at least 500ºF, then place the turkey directly on the grill above the flame.

Roast for 10 minutes, then reduce the heat to LOW and keep the lid closed. Check the turkey after 2 hours. Insert a meat thermometer into the meat (don't touch the bone and don't insert into the apples inside).

Transfer the turkey to a serving dish and allow it to sit on the counter for a few minutes before cutting it open. Remove the apples and carve the bird.

The meat should be pink (from the apple skins) and very juicy. Enjoy. (note: there won't be drippings for gravy, so be sure to add Turkey Gravy to your shopping list.